The Post I Did NOT Want to Write

I know I've been MIA for a few weeks.  This is a running blog, so when I'm not doing much running, the blog becomes pretty boring!  (For the most part I choose not to blog about the rest of my life here - my blog, my choice.)

According to TrainingPeaks "This is week 11 in training. After this week, race day will be five weeks away."  After a ton of thinking, walking, running, and limping, I finally decided that I am not going to run the Honolulu Marathon this year.

Sigh.

I really did not want to write that for many reasons.  I am not a quitter.  I am not usually a negative person.  I don't want this blog to be a downer, but this is my current reality.  Emphasis on current.  I will continue hoping that things will turn around soon, but with only six weeks until marathon day what I am is a realist.  I have run a total of TWO 10 milers and nothing any longer.  My second 10 miler was on October 1st.  My longest run since then is just over six miles.

I've been going back and forth on this for weeks, but I finally decided to give it up this year.  Friday night at dinner I talked it over with Les.  He was completely supportive.  Not one guilt trip from him.  I've had a ton of emotions about this but when I made my final decision the greatest emotion was relief.  I've been running with a lot of pain for several weeks now.  I also can't seem to find any enthusiasm or the mental strength to keep pressing through.  The stress I've been putting on myself has not been worth it this time.

I've run four marathons so I know how much work goes into both the training and actual race day.  I might be able to walk the distance, but I really don't want to spend all day out there!  If there was a half marathon option I would try to train for it, but the only other thing that have that day is the Race Day Walk which is a 10k.  I might do it, depending on how I'm feeling.  We'll be here in Hawaii that day, so I'm leaving that option open. 

I ran/walked this morning and somewhat composed this post in my head.  I thought about elite runners who do this for a living.  I can't imagine the pressure they live with trying to compete at the highest level.  Trying to keep sponsors and coaches happy.  It's no wonder there are tears when they don't make the Olympic team or fall way off the pace mid-race.

Running is not my job.  It's something I started doing 20 years ago to improve my health.  It turned into something I really enjoy.  I did not run my first race until 2012.  That's a lot of years of running without racing.

We fly home tomorrow and I will be able to go cycling again.  California has even gotten rain in the past week which means our trail is going to be fun for both running and mountain biking.  I'm ready to enjoy some no pressure activity.

So there it is, the post I did not want to write.  But let me leave you with something funny...

Why did the free range chickens cross the road?

I still don't know why, but at least they were in the cross walk!

M5T W8 Recap

So Cal Sunset

I'm half way through marathon training and things are not looking good.  My knee hurt all week.  I knew things were bad yesterday morning when my knee was hurting before I even got out of bed.  I really don't know what I'm going to do about my marathon.  Eight weeks in and my longest run has been 10 miles.

A quick recap:
Sunday - rested
Monday - rode 11.37
Tuesday - rode 14.37
Wednesday - travel day
Thursday - walked 3.03
Friday - walked 2.3
Saturday - walked 3.91

Stormy, our Hawaiian landlady's cat, waiting to greet me after my walk.

Each day that I walked I tried running a few times to test out my knee, but the pain was constant.  It seems a bit swollen, so I assume there is some inflammation going on.  It didn't hurt to walk as long as I kept my stride short.  When I lengthened my stride to get up a hill I really noticed it.

Hawaiian skies at sunrise

I received an article this week called "Marathon Prep from Behind the Curve."  The third point was "When Walking is Better Than Running."  I loved what Hippocrates said:

My plan for this week is to take it day by day.  I'm trying not to get too bored with walking - it definitely doesn't have the same high as running.  I'm also really missing my bike, but we'll be home in 2 weeks, so I guess I'll survive!

How do you make walking interesting when you can't run?

M5T W8

I received an email from MapMyRun this morning with a link to this article, "3 Tips that Can Save You From Running Injuries."  Point number 2 is "Practice proactive recovery — and don’t push it."  One of the key points was "Never, ever run through sharp, stabbing pain. It could turn a nagging ache into a more serious injury." 

I switched things up quite a bit this week.  We fly back to Oahu on Wednesday and I since won't have a bike there anymore I rode yesterday and today.   I'm hoping my knee will be back to normal by the time I run again on Thursday.

Sunday - 4 miles recovery pace

Monday - Rest day

Tuesday - Intervals - 5 mile run:
1 mile warmup
4 x 1/2 mile hard effort with 2 min jog recovery
Easy pace remaining miles
Wednesday  - 3 miles easy pace

Thursday - 6 miles tempo
6 mile run: warmup
/ 3x5 min Tempo w/2 min
running recovery /
Easy pace remaining miles

Friday - Rest day

Saturday - LSD 8 miles

Total planned miles 26

M5T W7 Recap

The only picture I took while out running this week!

I had a really solid first week of October.  The weather was typical for So Cal - cool and clear for a few days, then it warmed up with Santa Ana winds and low humidity.  And when I say "low humidity,"  I'm talking single digits.  I saw 3% one day.  There's not enough lotion in the house for that.

Sunday - 4 miles recovery pace
Rode 8.81 miles

Monday - Rest day
Rested

Tuesday - Intervals, 5 miles
Ran 5.23 miles
My intervals were really good this week.  8 x 1/4 mile.  My splits were very uneven because I ran a hilly route.  My goal was to keep the effort the same for each interval.  I just kept saying, "Diamond Head" on my final uphill interval.  We run around the crater twice during the marathon, the second time at mile 25, so pushing hills has to be part of my training.

Wednesday  - 3 miles easy pace
Rode 9.35 miles
I felt really good this morning so I didn't hold back.  I hit (and PRd) a few hills I hadn't ridden in a long time.

Thursday - 6 miles moderate pace
Walked 4.37 miles
I knew when I got up that Wednesday's ride was harder than it should have been.  The tank was empty, but I was okay with it.

Friday - Rest day
Rested

Saturday - LSD 12 miles
Ran/hobbled/walked 5.61 miles
Okay, I have no idea what happened yesterday.  I left the house and my mental game was strong.  The first mile was so-so, but never trust the first mile.  Mile 2 was slightly better.  Sometime in mile 3 my right knee started hurting.  The pain would go away when I walked.  I would run until the pain was too much, then walk.  By halfway through mile 4 I was in pain just walking and I knew I just needed to get home.

I spent the last mile arguing with myself.  "Don't wimp out... but... undertrained is better than injured."  I realize there is a very fine line between being a wimp and being stupid.  The pain persisted all day, so I know I made the right decision.  This pain came out of nowhere.  I probably jinxed myself earlier in the week when a friend gave me the "running is bad for your knees" speech and I smiled while internally rolling my eyes.

While I was disappointed with yesterday's unexpected pain, I still feel good about my week.  Twenty years of running has taught me a lot and the biggest one is keeping injuries at a minimum is the best route.  I've never had to take an extended break from running due to injury and I don't want to change the trend.

Total planned miles 30
Actual miles
Running 10.84
Walking 4.37
Cycling 18.16
Total 33.37

Wimp versus stupid ~ ever have trouble crossing that line?

M5T W7 (New Plan)

I woke up with sore legs this morning.  I'm actually quite happy about that.  They aren't so sore that I can't move, but sore enough to tell me that I put in a hard effort yesterday on my long run.

I'm not really sure what to call this week.  I'm sticking with the week numbers from my previous plan for continuity.  I also thought calling this week 3 would make things even more confusing!  This is week 3 of a 12 week plan I am going to follow for the remainder of this training cycle.  When I have access to a bike, I will usually ride 1 or 2 days to keep my easy days truly easy.

Sunday - 4 miles recovery pace

Monday - Rest day

Tuesday - Intervals - 5 mile run:
1 mile warmup
8 x 1/4 mile hard effort with 1 min jog recovery
Easy pace remaining miles

Wednesday  - 3 miles easy pace

Thursday - 6 miles moderate pace

Friday - Rest day

Saturday - LSD 12 miles

Total planned miles 30

M5T W6 Recap and a New Plan

 
I think I turned a corner this week.  It didn't start off great, but I feel like I'm back on track mentally.  Jet-lag kicked me in the backside midweek, but yesterday and today were much better.

Sunday - Walked 3.02 miles
Monday - Rained out.  Traveled home to California
Tuesday - Arrived home at 1:00 a.m.  Slept in.
Wednesday - Rode 10.60 miles
Thursday - Rested
Friday - Ran 4.28 miles
Saturday - Ran 10.20 miles

Total planned miles 29
Actual
Running 14.48
Walking 3.02
Cycling 10.60
Total  28.10

It felt like I took a lot of time off, but I actually only took one more rest day than normal.  Yesterday I started searching the web for a different training plan.  I Googled "10 week marathon training plan," then "12 week marathon training plan."  The reality is my current plan is too aggressive for my current fitness.  It's been messing with my head way too much so I'm walking away from it.  I am not, however, walking away from the marathon.

I have ten weeks left to train.  I found a 12 week plan that seems doable.  I am considering what I just did week 2 and tomorrow will kick off week 3.  My remaining long runs will be:  12, 8, 14, 16, 10, 18, 20, 12, and 10 miles.  My current plan would have been 16, 10, 20, 12, 20, 12, 22, 16, and 8 miles.  The plan also includes intervals, fartleks, and tempo runs.

Call me crazy, but I feel so much better about this.  I'm confident that I can finish the race.  I'd love to PR the course and a marathon PR would be a bonus!

Have you ever scrapped a plan mid training cycle?
What is the longest training run you do for a marathon?  More than one 20 miler?

M5T W5 Recap - Runfession Time

 
My last recap concluded with me cutting my long run short due to nausea.  The trend continued for a couple more days last week.

Sunday - Rest day
Still not feeling good, rested

Monday - 4 miles easy (10:35 pace)
Ran 2.81 miles

Tuesday - Intervals - 8-9 miles
I don't even remember why I didn't run on Tuesday.  I just didn't.

Wednesday  - 3 miles easy (10:35 pace)
Ran 5.5 miles.  Still a little nauseated, but started feeling good and had a few strong miles.

Thursday - 4 miles easy (10:35 pace)
I had planned on bike commuting with Les.  We gave our notice to our Hawaiian landlady and will be clearing out of there at the end of October so I knew my bike was coming home this trip.  We were rained out and I was really bummed about that.  Les will still be working for the company that is based in Hawaii, but he's got a project with a company in Connecticut, so it makes more sense for him to be in California.  We will still go back to Hawaii (like in December for the marathon!) but not for more than a couple of weeks at a time at least for now.

Friday - Rest day
Walked 4 miles
Since I had taken Thursday off, I thought I would do my long run on Friday.  I knew I'd have fresh legs.  Obviously that didn't happen.  What happened was the conclusion of two weeks of not wanting to run.

Friday morning I was feeling really negative about running in general.  "Why am I doing this?  Why did I even sign up for another marathon?  I don't think I want to do it this year..."  I am usually not a negative person, so when this happens it seems to be magnified. As I was walking, I was trying to figure out my next steps when it finally dawned on me what was going on...

Hormones.

Yep, it all boiled down to that.  But it's not as easy as it sounds.  In my 20s and 30s, I recognized PMS for what it was, because it was almost always the same - a few days a month I was irritable, then I was fine.  In my 40s, migraines got added to the repertoire, but it was still predictable.  Now I'm in my 50s and for the past couple of years it feels like anything goes.

If PMS is an emotional roller coaster, perimenopause is the entire amusement park.  I feel like I've had it all - from the Tower of Terror to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to the Haunted Mansion!  Some days I'm ultra sensitive, other days I'm tired.  I've had anxiety and insomnia.  Last month I had about 3 weeks of multiple hot flashes every single day.

I hate this feeling of being "off."  I've never suffered from depression and I can usually work my way through hard stuff, but this is just so different.  I don't know from one day to the next how I'm going to feel. One of the really frustrating parts about all this is my legs are fine.  I'm currently injury free so running should be great.  Our life in general is great - we're super busy and traveling gets old at times, but we're healthy and happy.

When I got home from my walk last Friday, I had pretty much worked all this out in my mind.  I talked to Les about it (he's SO patient with all this) and came to this conclusion:  "My decision is not to decide."  How many times have I made a decision I regretted based on emotion?  That rarely ends well.  For now, I'll continue training and hope I start feeling more normal soon.

Saturday - LSD 14 miles  (10:35-10:50 pace)
Rode 15.52 miles - my last Hawaiian bike ride (for now!)

Total planned miles 34
Actual
Running 8.31
Walking 4.00
Cycling 15.52
Total  27.83

I must runfess that this is quite the downer of a post!  I don't usually share this much, but I'm hoping by typing it out it will help me sort through all I'm experiencing.  Hopefully the pictures will make up for the text.

Help a friend out - What do you do when your head's not in the running game?  What about when life throws curve balls?